Pieces of you infiltrate my body like splinters

                        Your hand in           my hair

                                                     My head in        your lap

puncture through layers of resistant skin
unwanted thoughts

       You would appreciate          this movie

                                                     I wonder what               you’re doing             without me

rip and tear muscle as they enter
both inflame as they remain
infect as they refuse to leave

I love you like I love myself
only on late nights
a drug cocktail ironing out the wrinkles on my brain
punch drunk and unmade
I tell myself I can be everything you said I could be

And everything you weren’t to me

You left me like my morning calm
with my first impure exhale
like my dreams exiled by day break
repelled by the realities of a world too unkind


I yearn for you only when I remember what it was like to have you

          nights spent confessing insecurities and admitting ambitions

                                                                        our bodies so close our breath was one in the same

a figure I could look up to and trust

a symbol of what I could be

And I miss you as such
Only when my head sinks in reverie
And I half remember the dreams that are aching to escape me