Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

I’m a 5'11, athletic Asian-American male who enjoys short walks on the beach and burrito trucks. That’s what my OkCupid profile says. I received a message from “Kacialmanza”: 22, lives in Portland, and seems to be an attractive white woman. Her message: “Hello :)”. I thought I hit the jackpot. I checked out her profile. She likes watching Korean Dramas. Me too! She loves rice and sushi! So do I! Her favorite book is Lolita. Okay, that’s cool I guess, Yay books! She loves “anything Asian in generally”. Okay...what. Finally, she said, Message me if: “You are Asian.” Verbatim, full stop.

Holy crap, what do I say to this racist?

Asian Persuasion

Dear Asian Persuasion,

As tempting as it may seem to email this woman and tell her, in a bulleted list, everything she’s doing wrong… fight that urge. As we all learned from the Great Dreadlocks Thread of 2014, trying to teach people on the internet about racism isn’t going to get you anywhere. Ever. She’d probably tell you that she’s just stating a preference, GAWD, just like if she said she liked tall people, or blonde people, or black. . . . Ok, just don’t go there. You deserve someone who likes you for your burrito-eating skills and your short attention span for beachside ambulation. Better to just click “block” and get on with your life.

Only on OkCupid for the lawlz,

Miss Lonely Hearts