Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,
I was excited to be a junior until I realized that all the hot seniors who I was in love with all of last year have graduated. I never actually talked to any of them personally (I made out with one of them during Thesis Parade), but I get so sad when I go to the Paradox and they aren’t there, chugging Depth Charges and eating day-old bagels. How am I supposed to deal with this loss?
— Lost ‘em to the Laurels