Dear Miss Lonelyhearts,
In high school I had this friend. She was more of a satellite friend than anything until the fall of senior year. You see, she and I had another class together (I think it was English). For this class we had to do these group projects. As fate would have it she and I were paired up. It was quickly decided (by her) that we would work at her house on the coming Saturday. I wasn't too psyched for it, but when Saturday came around I went to her house and my word I am happy I did. I got to the house and rang the doorbell and her mom answered. I mean, my friend was pretty cute, but her mom had got it goin’ on. My jaw dropped a little bit and my heart fell madly in love. After that Saturday, Stacy (my friend) and I became very good friends. We would hang out during school, but more importantly I would come over after school. Maybe we’d hang around by her pool. Whatever our plans were, I would always be sure to suggest that we go to her place just so that I could talk to her mom.
After the school year ended, Stacy's mom asked me if I wanted to make any extra money during the summer. She suggested that I mow her lawn. I was quick to agree. There was this one time in particular that I will always remember. While I was mowing the lawn, Stacy's mom came out with just a towel on. I could tell she liked me from the way she stared and the way she said "you missed a spot over there."
Well unfortunately I left for Reed at the end of that summer which meant I also left Stacy's mom before anything could happen. Last semester I decided to leave it as just a fond memory and move on, you know? But just the other day I got this text message from Stacy! It rekindled all of my emotion for her mom. I haven't responded because I didn't know what to say. Miss Lonelyheartz, she's all I want, and I've waited for so long... I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with Stacy's mom. What do I do? What do I say?
– F. Wayne