Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

I’m a freshman brand new to Reed but I have this huge crush on a senior. I kissed her while drunk at Dance Yrself Clean, but found out that she’s involved with someone else in an “open relationship.” What does that mean, exactly? Should I get involved? I feel like I might end up interfering, and there’s also the age difference. My friends think I should let it go, but I really like this person and she seemed interested in me. What should I do?



Dear Crushing,

I think your friends have the right idea here. I would advise you to only pursue this person if you’re okay with being in an open relationship with her. Dig deep and ask yourself if you would be comfortable dating a person who has already established a relationship with someone else. If you’re just looking for a casual fling, go for it—you should have no problem entering into an open relationship if that’s your aim (which would also nullify the age gap problem, as relationships between seniors and freshmen really only prove to be tricky if they’re serious).

As for your concern that you might end up interfering in her current relationship, I will say that if you get involved and do end up “interfering,” the fault will not be yours: she planned for the very possibility of dating someone new by labeling her relationship as open.

But, Crushing? Prepare yourself for the possibility that this person is not interested in dating you. SU dances can get a little wild, and this person might have just been in the mood to mack on someone (although she did choose you to mack on), but you’ll never know until you ask.

Miss Lonely Hearts