Quiet Tinder Crush

Dear Miss Lonely Hearts,

I matched with this guy on Tinder about a month ago, a little after we first met. I don't use Tinder seriously, so I didn't think much of it. I thought of it as a mutual "ah, I know them! Right swipe!" kind of fun that didn't mean anything. During the past month I've been hanging out some with him and his friend group. We've never acknowledged the fact that we matched on Tinder (we haven't even had a Tinder conversation). As I've started to get to know him, I think I've developed a liking for him...And now my mind keeps jumping back to our Tinder matching—does it mean anything that he right swiped me? I always assumed it didn't, but now I want it to have meaning!! If it did mean something, I don't want to waste time being silent but...I also don't want to be weird if it was only a casual right-swipe...I don't want to mess with a friendship that is developing but I think it's developing painfully SLOWLY!

Quiet Tinder User


Dear Quiet Tinder User,

It sounds like you and Tinder guy are at a stalemate. Based on what you’ve said, both of you are scared to acknowledge your match. This reticence could be a good indicator that the two of you both want something more from your friendship because you are nervous to broach the subject in fear of ruining your relationship. If the only thing either of you wanted was purely a platonic, friendly relationship, it would have been best to crack a joke or two about it and get it out in the open. So, your quiet Tinder usage has led you to another Quiet Tinder User, and he probably has the same questions that you expressed about your match.

Does it mean anything? In my opinion, a right swipe on Tinder indicates interest, a spark which can either die out or be fanned into a flame through further interaction. Given that the two of you have entered into a positive relationship beyond your initial introduction and Tinder connection, your relationship has followed the latter course and developed into something more than simple curiosity. Plus, his presence on Tinder indicates that, at least a month ago, he was actively looking for something more than friendship, be it a relationship or just a hookup. Sounds like the perfect storm to me.

But, Quiet Tinder User? None of my words of wisdom will matter unless you act on your feelings and let Tinder guy know that you’re interested in something more with him. Your relationship will continue to develop painfully SLOWLY if you don’t take charge and do something about! And take it from me, don’t worry about coming on too strong or coming off as weird because (a) life’s too short for that and (b) swiping right on someone on Tinder is a choice which acknowledges that the user is open to, at the very least, a simple “wanna date?”

Miss Lonely Hearts